Mentorship

         As much as it was my drive that has gotten me this far, it has been certain individuals in my life that have helped me along.  I can't really say I did this all by myself, because I haven't.  Growing up in a traditional blended family I have to say I took direction from varies individuals in my life.  My grandmothers for one have always been a stable memory in my life.  Both women had qualities that just living day to day life has instilled in them.  My grandmother Mary was sweet and soft, but she had a certain level of strength in her spirit.  She spoke only Navajo and as a young girl I only understood a few words when she spoke to me. The amazing thing is as much of a life force as she was for me as a child, her spirit and memory are more of a life force for me now.  My grandmother Virgina was also a soft memory for me, she had a certain warmth in her smile.  Both women passed before I was old enough to really comprehend how much influence they had over me.  During the time they were in my life, there presence was the security was I seeking, the security that I was wanted and loved.  I think even though their time with me was short, what they hoped to pass on to their granddaughter has taken hold..love, strength, security.

        My teenage years were turbulent ones.  I think there is something to be said about surviving teen years.  I was at the point in my young adult life where I was letting my insecurities eat me alive and at the same time dealing with past hurts.  I felt as small and insignificant as a rock on the ground.  It was during this time that I really considered ending my life.  I had actually considered it on several occasions, but it was on one of these occasions I met Margie.  I remember going to school that day and walking to the counselors office and admitting that I was considering ending my life.  I thought counselor meant mental help, but actually this lady could only help with college placement...So she directed me to Margie who was a childrens counselor.  She happened to be visiting our school that day to meet with other students.  It wasn't so much what she said to me that changed things for me.  Of course she listened to me, but she took me under her wing.  I went to her home on occasion for just visits, she took me to meet her parents and brothers in Southern New Mexico. We talked about all her degrees and just life in general.  I remember being in awe, here was a grown independent woman who took care of herself.  This lady had it together.  I remember thinking, this is who I want to be.  This one woman has no idea what she saved me from.

       Throughout my young life I have been fortunate enough to have many more influential people come into my life.  Some of them have only been in my life for a short time, but others will continue to be influential as long as I breath.  I am comforted in knowing that with each person that comes into my life, there is always a lesson to be learned.  Even as I talk and connect with my preceptors while deciding on our plan of action for each women in our care.  What is it that they want me to know?  What skills are they trying to help me sharpen so that I may be ready to deal with similar issues in the future?  As hard as it may be to be the student it is equally hard to be the teacher.  I'd like to say I take direction well, but on some sensitive issues, I don't take direction very well at all.  I think when you have a good relationship with your mentor you are willing to share your insecurities with them and hopefully they will help you see your way out of them.  I'd like to think that the spirit world sends these special people your way so that they help you in your journey through life. All I know is...I am here.